Main content:

Metapost: Simpsonian and Phantomtastic comments of the week!

Your comment of the week in a moment, but first: a couple Fun Pictures Of Me With Cool People! The first cool picture is me with Jeff Knurek, aka Jumble Jeff, aka the cartoonist for the Jumble, who has repeatedly put me in prison over the years. Jeff came into town, and he and his lovely wife Kathy took me and my lovely wife Amber out to dinner, and then the next day Jeff, Kathy, and I (Amber had to work, so sad) got to sit in on a reading of a Simpsons episode by the cast! We (and by “we” I mean “Jeff but then he invited me along”) had been invited by Tom Gammil, a Simpsons producer who also draws The Doozies and is a faithful reader of this blog. It was an amazing experience and thanks to Jeff and Tom for making it happen! Here’s me and Jeff out on the Fox lot:

A few days earlier, I had been at a friend’s post-apocalypse-themed birthday party and chatting with a nice young lady named Marize and I had the opportunity (it was natural, I swear I don’t go around bragging about this with no context) to mention that I wrote a blog about comic strips, and she said, “Oh, which one,” and I said “It’s called the Comics Curmudgeon,” and she said “Oh, yeah, I read that,” super casual-like, which impressed me, and then she mentioned that she was a huge fan of the Phantom, and also pointed out that she had just gotten the Phantom’s logo tattooed on her thigh!

Anyway, I’ve been falling down on the job when it comes to Phantom coverage lately, and so I pledge to Marize and to you that I will do better! (SPOILER ALERT: He has amnesia.)

And now … your comment of the week!

“Mark Trail knows he is on the side of righteousness because before each outing he consults with his Lord and master, Jesus Moose, here seen walking on water before the stunned ranks of the non-believers. Blessed be the Father, and the Moose, and the Spirit of the Wild.” –G’Quan

And the very funny runners up!

“Wow, Fox is really cheaping out on the next X-Men movie.” –Ed Dravekcy on Facebook

“I like that one of the differences between the two panels is that in the first, the human appears to be a legit wildlife officer, while in the second, his lack of badge seems to indicate that he’s just some dude who likes stetsons and picking fights with bears.” –pugfuggly

“Little kids worshiping candy and presents rather than the Lord? The math checks out.” –pastordan

“What sort of ghastly vertigo-inducing Hell-Prius is that in panel one? From the Gungan hydrostatic windshield through which Mary projects her head, to the deadly passenger seat that lurches forward and to the centerline, it’s got to be a nightmare ride for Hanna and as such, she frowns her disapproval, which she can check out first-hand in the rear-view mirror, now mere inches from her eyes. Apparently, part of Mary’s plan is to so disorient and distract Hanna with the physical anomalies of the car that Hanna is no longer capable of ratiocination and will gladly enter whatever home Mary has in mind. Kids, that’s the oldest trick in the book!” –SgtSaunders

Margo reflects? We all know that Margo casts no reflection.” –Nekrotzar

“Few Halloween home decorations are as frightening and repulsive as the Man’s Back Hair Sofa Slipcover.” –Chareth Cutestory

“You’d think that a comic that features a woman who has slept with the newest James Bond star and has the latest Bond girl as a client and confidante would be about people leading glamorous lives. Yet here we are.” –Hibbleton

“It’s sad that the Sweet 16 Cafe, once a teen hangout in the 1950s, is now focused on an aging clientele holding on to the bittersweet memories of young love.” –SKJAM!

“Man, that Bill Ellis must really hate Cherry. When he sends Mark on a fishing trip or a safari, he goes alone, but when he sends him to snoop around a chemical plant next to a swamp, Cherry has to ride along.” –But What Do I Know?

“In all the years I’ve been reading comics, I’ve always assumed that word bubbles only existed for our own benefit, and weren’t actually present in the comic itself, like a subtitle in a movie. Today’s Mark Trail shatters that illusion by showing us a moose playfully chasing after one, like a cat with a laser pointer.” –Brad

“Please let Margo be looking at a picture of Joseph Stalin.” –seismic-2

“June will summon Kelly into her presence and demand to know why she wasn’t immediately informed about the possible prison record of the art forger employed by the mob widow who is mentoring her daughter. ‘B-but you knew all of that! The mob widow … the abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town … the art forgery … Sarah blackmailing me …’ ‘Don’t change the subject, young lady! I won’t have my Sarah instructed by someone so incompetent he actually served time! Only the best for my daughter!’” –batgirl

‘Are you ladies new here?’ asked a quavering voice. Mary turned. It was a haggard old crone, twisted and wrinkled, seemingly locked into a small scooter. She seemed … familiar, and Mary’s mind flashed back to her last memory of her mother, left in a place like this, alone. ‘Can I help you?’ the woman asked. ‘My name is Mary Worth, and I help out around here.’ Mary’s knees started to buckle. The old woman looked her square in the eyes, and Mary knew those eyes, she saw those eyes every morning in her mirror as she fixed her hair just so. ‘You look troubled, my dear,’ the crone said. ‘Come, tell me about your problems.’ Mary’s back hit the wall and she slowly slid toward the floor. ‘Mary Worth can fix all of your problems, dear.’ The woman’s scooter started to inch forward.” –Voshkod

“Here’s what I love about Dagwood. While the rest of us are worrying about mid-term elections, Ebola outbreaks, and whatever else the media is telling us to fear, Dagwood’s ‘dilemma’ is that two annual observances dedicated to mindless gluttony are overlapping and he wants to show his devotion to both without slighting either. We could, I dare say, learn from him.” –Joe Blevins

“The Jesus rays emanating from Dagwood imply that there is some divine majesty about what he’s done. Pizza slice? That’s something that you’ll buy at the fly-by-night Halloween store this weekend for half price and then forget that you have it in your closet for a few years. But add a Jack-o’-lantern head, and it’s ‘fall to the ground and shield your eyes’ time. Either this is a truly glorious moment for humanity, or somebody came up behind the artist after he finished and said, ‘Could you do something to draw more attention to the guy in the pizza costume and Jack-o’-lantern head? He’s hardly noticeable in that kitchen.’” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

Vaguely spooky Friday

Herb and Jamaal, 10/31/14

It’s true: feelings can be tricky! Like, for instance, you may feel close enough with your best friend to just ask him about his current emotional state with a new love interest: a pretty intimate question! And yet even so, you might be embarrassed to admit that you like to weave elaborate water-metaphors about feelings, and so instead of sharing them with him and risking embarrassment, you just lean on the counter and smile to yourself, imagining those emotional waves crashing over your head. Don’t tell him what you’re thinking. He can never know.

Blondie, 10/31/14

I guess what bothers me about this is that Dagwood thinks he needs to add a jack o’ lantern to this costume to make it Halloweeny. It’s a costume. Costumes are inherently Halloweeny. Dressing in costume is pretty much what Halloween is about these days. You don’t need to gussy it up with Halloween iconography. Just dress up as a sexy slice of pizza and get on with it, already.

Heathcliff, 10/31/14

GOD DAMN IT

MUMMIES DON’T EAT BRAINS

YOU’RE THINKING OF ZOMBIES

YES THEY’RE BOTH REANIMATED CORPSES BUT THEIR MYTHOLOGY AND CULTURAL HISTORIES ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

MUMMIES PUT CURSES ON YOU AND … UH … SHAMBLE TOWARDS YOU MENACINGLY

AND I THINK THAT’S IT?

ALSO THEIR ROTTING FLESH IS COVERED WITH BANDAGES

DEFINITELY NOT THE SAME AS ZOMBIES, IS MY POINT

GET IT TOGETHER, HEATHCLIFF

Mostly soapy Thursday

Apartment 3-G, 10/30/14

Oh, goody, you know I love an Apartment 3-G flashback! I’m guessing that this giant 4 x 6 photo at which Margo is lovingly gazing (she keeps it in her purse, for convenient loving gazing action) is neither of long-ago love FBI Pete (even though she went ahead and had a captioned beach-frolicking photo of the two of them framed for some reason) nor of Trey, the sexy bescarfèd architect who redesigned the Mills Gallery for free in a doomed attempt to win Margo’s heart. No, I think we all know that the closest Margo ever came to true love was Mills Gallery founder Eric Mills, who knew that Margo valued power over mewling, pathetic artists more than a wedding ring. Unfortunately, the two of them could never be together because he was only sexually attracted to gas grills. Ha ha, just kidding! He actually died in an avalanche trying to sneak the Panchen Lama out of Tibet, which I swear I’m not making up.

Mary Worth, 10/30/14

“Ladies, plural? Ha ha ha young man, no, you don’t understand, only one of us needs to be confined to this caring, fun-filled elder-containment facility. I myself have fantastic vision and a very important job as manager of a condominium complex and can’t possibly–” “ALRIGHT JOE GET THE STRAIGHTJACKET AND THE TASER, WE’VE GOT A LIVE ONE”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/30/14

Good lord, Sarah, it’s like you don’t even know the first rule of working with mobsters, which, obviously, is “don’t be a snitch.”

Pluggers, 10/30/14

Pluggers, sadly, know exactly how much their time is worth.